Tag Archive | "celebrity"

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Lindsay Lohan Proves She’s a Desperate Attention Seeker

Posted on 15 March 2010 by Josh Miller

Lindsay Lohan wants $100M over E-Trade ad

etrade_blackberry_baby1

Lindsay Lohan is suing the financial company E-Trade, insisting that a boyfriend-stealing, “milkaholic” baby in its latest commercial — who happens to be named Lindsay — was modeled after her. And she wants $100 million for her pain and suffering, The Post has learned.

It’s pretty sad when you think you’re such hot shit that obviously any reference to your name, even if it isn’t related to your name, is about you.  I mean it’s not like anyone in the history of EVER has been named Lindsay before Lohan came along.

I mean sure, the people making the commercial in question could have named the baby Paris or Angelina but those names just wouldn’t have made sense in the context of “Milkaholic”.

And what is a “Milkaholic” anyway?  Are we supposed to believe that babies consume mostly milk or something?  Clearly “Milk” in this case” is a euphemism for “crack”.  How else can you explain how creepy these babies are OR how they are capable of so effectively managing their stock portfolios?

Nevermind the fact that pretty much no one gives a shit about Lindsay Lohan anymore.  Who cares that both her music and movie careers are pretty much in the crapper.  Who cares that she’s become such a creepy anorexic looking skeleton that she’s not even particularly hot anymore.  It’s clear that most people still think of Lohan constantly and would clearly make the whole “Crackaholic Creepy Baby” connection when they hear the name “Lindsay”.

via IHatetheMedia.com

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Which of These Songs is Better?

Posted on 09 February 2010 by Josh Miller

First have a 1993 Rage Against the Machine Song….

Next we have a 2009 “X Factor” winner doing a cover version of a Miley Cyrus song…

Well, back in Christmas of 2009, UK fans voted, and they voted with thier money by buying songs. RatM beat out the expected winner by 50,000 “votes” with the 16 year old song. (source).

Why the old news?

Well, the promised that if they won, they’d give a free concert!

And, in good fasion, they’re going to follow through on the promise. Still, it’s likely going to be somewhere in the UK, so if you’re really into RatM, better be ready to book your tickets.

Also, for what it’s worth, I am not a rabid RatM fan though I do enjoy a few songs from them.

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This is Why I Have Zero Interest in Avatar

Posted on 21 January 2010 by Josh Miller

This has been going around a bit. CNN has been reporting that people are “Becomming Depressed and Suicidal After Watching Avatar”…

Now we can take this thing to another level…

Avatar Excitement Kills Cinema-goer

Why let dumbass teenagers off themselves when the movie itself can do it MUCH MORE EFFICIENTLY. The whole deal is so rediculously lame. Even BEFORE the hype surrounding this film It didn’t look interesting, now it seems less so. Hell if it wasn’t for the hype of this srot I probabyl wouldn’t have even known the film even existed despite it’s “tremendous record breaking sales”.

People talking about how amazingly beautiful and unique the visual ae in this game should play some Final Fantasy or other similar video games. Not to mention that in order to watch them you have to deal with nausea inducing 3D effects.

Take that away and what you have left is apparently a total remake of Disney’s Pocahontas.

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Michael Jackson Death Conspiracies…

Posted on 30 September 2009 by Josh Miller

I’ve heard two relatively prolific conspiracy theories since the death of Pop Legend Michael Jackson. First is that his death was staged in order to create an enormous comeback. Or possibly just so he could simply go away and leave all of the stressful obsessive coverage.

Second, and if either were true more likely, is that he was killed to release the rights to his library of songs. Please note, not the rights to HIS songs, the rights he owned to BEATLES songs.

That’s right, Michael Jackson owned the publishing rights to a lot of Beatles music. Have you noticed the massive influx of Beatles themes lately inc commercials? Then there was Beatles Rock Band.

Eh eh?

Anyway, I’ve seen a video a while ago that was supposedly Michael Jackson casually strolling out of an ambulance after his “death” but it was grainy as hell and frankly, it could have been anyone. Hell the video could have been Obama wandering out of the ambulance. all we know is Someone, or something, got out and walked into a door in an underground garage.

This one takes the cake though for supporting conspiracy theories.

Here’s a photo of Michael Jackson’s “last rehersal”.

Take a minute to look it over. To the casual person it seems ok right? If you’re familiar with Photoshop take a closer look at Michael himself. Still not seeing it? Pretend you’re into “guys junk” and look again. See it yet? Notice that there is no neon sign between his legs? Of course you didn’t see it you were too busy looking at Michael Jackson’s crotch you PERVERT.

Anyway, the guy in charge apparently screwed up a job any regular Something Awful poster could manage (Photoshop Phriday anyone?).

Original Story on HolyMoly.com , via This Looks Shopped

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The Celebrity Death Phenomenon

Posted on 15 September 2009 by Josh Miller

Patrick Swayze is the latest. Michael Jackson was the biggest. There was also Billie Mays, Bea Arthur, Dom Deluise, Farrah Fawcett, Ed MaHon, John Hughes, Les Paul, Ted Kennedy, and countless other lesser known celebrities have died this year. Celebrities die all the time though, why does this year feel different?

People are starting to make a big deal about how these celebrities are dropping dead left and right. I have a few ideas about why this phenomenon seems like a huge deal. It’s essentially a convergence of several otherwise incidental concepts.

First off, possibly the biggest deal, the heavy penetration of Social Media. In the past, some celebrity dies, maybe the morning radio show is talking about it, maybe you spot an article in a tabloid newspaper while waiting to check out, basically, news just didn’t travel as fast.

Now we’ve got news that travels literally at the speed of light. I don’t want to sound like I’m bragging, because I’m not and I don’t care, but I was probably one of the first hundred or so people to tweet “Michael Jackson is dead”. Why? Because the television station I work for shows TMZ. TMZ broke the story on their website and immediately sent out an email telling us we needed to get a reefed of the show with “breaking news”. I get these sorts of emails all the time. The point though is that almost instantly, (in fact before it was confirmed because TMZ was being ambitious), this news had gone across some news desk, out into email, out to my Twitter and the spreading across my web of followers. This same stem of information was spewing from hundreds of other sources as well.

Within maybe, 15 minutes, essentially everyone would know that Michael Jackson had died. The news spreads through Twitter and Facebook and personal IMs and IRC and across the news. You don’t have to wait until you hear about it on the news or the Morning zoo, then wait till you drive to work to discuss it with your coworkers. It’s all nearly instantaneous.

But the social web isn’t the only factor. Look at that list of names. When were these people stars (for the most part)? The 1980s and 1990s. The 1980s saw a massive increase in the use of Cable Television. It also saw the advent of the VHS VCR, allowing us to watch these people over and over. It saw the advent of pop culture pushers like MTV (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MTV), E!, People Magazine (actually the 70s), and in general, it was the rise of the concept of “celebrity”.

Previously we had the concept of “The Star”. These would be people like The Beatles or Frank Sinatra, or John Wayne. They were popular icons of entertainment but for the most part our exposure to them was limited. Suddenly we had television out the wazoo and magazines telling us every detail of the glamorous life of Hollywood.

Move ahead 10-20 years and throw in the internet. Now you can find entire websites dedicated to telling us every tiny detail of the lives of people like Paris Hilton or Angelina Jolie. Every act, no matter how insignificant is documented by at least a dozen obsessive fans.

Also, keeping with the time frame of popularity in the 80s, Many of these people were already 30-40 years old during their heydays in the 1970s and 1980s. That was nearly 30 years ago, these celebrities are now in their 60s and 70s. Traditionally, people in these sorts of positions don’t tend to lead the most cautious lives when it comes to keeping up their health. Many of these celebrities are simply reaching the point when they are ready to kick the bucket. His coupled with the increase in the number of celebrities hanging out in the public eye for longer periods of time makes it seem like there are a lot of people dying all at once.

The end result is that this increase in popular celebrity deaths isn’t something that is going to go away any time soon. I predict that it’s only going to get “worse” as the year rolls on and increase even more so in the years to come.

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Bin Laden At Large, Wants to Kill Bobby Brown, Sex Up Whitney

Posted on 03 August 2007 by Josh Miller


File this under “Batshit Insane”. R&B artist, Bobby Brown, claims 9/11 mastermind Osama Bin Laden wants him dead. And not just because he’s an American.

Apparently the terrorist leader is obsessed with Whitney Houston and would do anything to maker her part of his harem, including offing her ex-husband Bobby Brown.

Guess what Bobby, this little publicity stunt you’re pulling in order to bring back your career. Ain’t happenin’.

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